Bachelorette Season Premiere Part 2 Recap: Britt-ersweet Goodbyes

The votes have been counted (and possibly verified by PwC). Fun-sucker Chris Harrison is ready to tell our two bachelorettes with a lowercase “b” which one of them will be the official Bachelorette with a capital “B”. Let’s find out who it is!

Bachelorette Premiere Recap: Double the Awkward, Double the Fun

With two Bachelorettes, you’d think this season’s premiere would have been jam-packed with hilarious, awkward, cringe-inducing moments, right? Eh. Or ABC just got lazy and decided to rest on the gimmick. Yep – like the trailer for a summer comedy that includes all seven of the film’s jokes, ABC’s “50 Shades of Cray” Bachelorette previews covered several of the craziest moments from the season premiere. Thankfully, there were still a few surprises in store…

PS – Use the “Meet the Guys” post to follow along!

Bachelorette Premiere Drinking Game

They didn’t come here to make friends, but you did! Here are five of the “Right Reasons” to enjoy some adult beverages during tonight’s episode:

Drink…

• For any guy with a fitness-related job (personal trainer, fitness coach, etc.)
• Any time someone appends a last initial to a grown man’s name like he’s in preschool (e.g. Shawn E.)
• If a guy uses the same line on both Britt and Kaitlyn
• If a guy cries
• When anyone’s job title is code for “unemployed”

Meet the Guys

Ah, The Bachelorette. The light at the end of the tunnel that’s helped us all feel a little less icky watching the Bachelor date 25 women simultaneously season after season. The show that turns the tables and objectifies emotional, scantily-clad, booze-fueled men. The show that suggests that women are capable of making decisions about their lives and relationships. The show that implies that maybe – just maybe – a woman can have overnight dates with three guys and be treated as no more and no less deserving of love and respect than a man who has three overnight dates…

Obviously, when a show starts supporting crazy ideas like THAT, it’s time for ABC to step in and remind America whose opinions really matter and who’s really supposed to be in charge. And therein lies this season’s twist: ABC has chosen two potential Bachelorettes and recruited twenty-five dudes to decide, according to Chris Harrison, “which one will make the best wife.”

So in tonight’s premiere, Britt Nilsson, a Hollywood waitress/model/actress who sponsors kids in poor countries and may or may not shower, and Kaitlyn Bristowe, a sarcastic Canadian dance instructor with a penchant for rapping, will awkwardly pretend to be besties while competitively flirting with the same group of guys and secretly hoping the other girl faints, farts, or falls on her face.

Before we get to enjoy all of that, though, we get to meet the 25 men who will decide who the Bachelorette will be – I’ve gathered their photos, highlights from their ABC bios, a couple of fun tidbits from around the internet, and absolutely zero spoilers below!

Bachelor Week 7 Recap, Part 1: Britt Has a Cow

A “special” five-hour, two-night Bachelor television event calls for an equally special two-day Bachelor Bloggin’ event – so here’s the first installment!

Bachelor Week 6 Recap: Save a Rose, Kiss a Cowboy

Chris Harrison told us that this season on the Bachelor, there are no rules. So maybe we shouldn’t have been surprised when last week’s episode ended with a cliffhanger before we got to the Rose Ceremony. You may remember we left off just after Chris Harrison announced there wouldn’t be a cocktail party, which made one lady in particular very uncomfortable…

Bachelor Week 5 Recap: E-I-E-I-OMG

After a brief hiatus, the blog is back! Just in time to catch up with Chris and his eleven ladies in sunny Santa Fe, New Mexico. Megan, for one, is thrilled about the travel, because she’s never been out of the country… No, she’s not joking.

This week was pretty crazy, and just about everything that happened is probably going to show up somehow in my future nightmares. So let’s just jump right in, shall we? (Don’t forget you can follow along with the “Meet the Ladies” post!)

Bachelor Week 2 Recap: First Dates, Second Chances, Three Wishes

It’s Week Two, and our Bachelor has whittled his ladies down from 30 to 22… or is it 23? Team ABC left us with quite a cliffhanger when Kimberly, the yoga teacher from Long Island, dashed back into the mansion after not getting a rose from Chris. So what happened??

Feel free to follow along with Meet the Ladies – but just know that after this episode you’ll definitely be able to tell the Ashleys apart.

Bachelorette Recap Week 10: The Men Tell Very Little

It’s time for the Men Tell All! Andi, brace yourself for confronting a room full of your exes. Men, gear up to argue endlessly over essentially irrelevant topics. Live audience members, stretch those facial muscles – we’re gonna need you to pull some seriously shocked faces soon! And readers, check the Meet Andi’s Men post to refresh your memory – there are a lot of guys here you’re probably not going to recognize!

Bachelorette Week 5 Recap: If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Make Out in the Kitchen

Alright, alright, so the blog this season has been about as lacking as Juan Pablo’s understanding of the English language. Let me use Andi’s favorite word and stahhhp you right there before you give me too hard a time – I promise I’ll be on my game the rest of this season! If you want to catch up, “Meet the Men” is updated with who’s taken a ride in the Reject Limo so far.